Alone In The Night
by Tabu
Summary: Musings of Sailor Neptune before the awakening of her partner.


My sincerest and deepest thanks to NAOKO TAKEUCHI for creating  
and sharing such elegant characters as Haruka and Michiru with  
the rest of the world. Forgive me for borrowing them.  
  
  
Alone In The Night  
A fan fic by Tabu  
  
  
  
Darkness used to be a wonderful thing filled with mystery and romance,  
a veritable playground for two. Now it is only the absence of light.   
At times the moon will be bright and the stars may hold my interest,   
but for the most part the night has lost its charm.   
It has in fact become an agony.  
  
I have never been so alone before, set adrift in my own sea of despair  
and grief. Yet I have my duty, yes there is always that. The on going  
call to protect, to save. The drive that pulls and tugs on all that  
I am. Duty. For with it there would be no reason to live.  
My love is gone.  
  
It is almost unbearable to watch the couples walk hand in hand along  
the shore. The jealousy burns deep within me at the sight. Why must  
I be alone? Yet, I know that with each reincarnation she appears.  
Perhaps she is here slumbering deep within her new host, as was I.  
Safe within the womb of ignorance, oblivious to the existence   
awaiting her. Awakening to this turmoil, this hunt for the Messiah.  
Will she join me?  
  
How many great rulers have we seen fall? They must fall. Their  
greatest strength is their innocence. Their greatest weakness is  
their trust. They believe too much that there is good in all.  
Some people are evil incarnate, but no great ruler will ever  
believe that. And so they become prey to evil.  
With great power should come even greater wisdom.  
  
And so we come back to protect another great innocent. We give  
our lives too easily. I think this time I must be sure of our  
Messiah. The name itself implies great innocence and power.  
Another deadly mixture for those of us who protect.  
This Messiah will be our death.  
  
My love will awaken soon, it is inevitable. Will I recognize her this time?   
How I wish she would not awaken, that she would not have to battle again.   
I would gladly fight alone if it meant sparing her. Yet to exist without   
her, for I cannot call it anymore than that, is agony.  
To live without her is to merely exist.   
  
I want to see her eyes gazing passionately into mine. I want to hold   
her again, to feel the softness of her skin, to taste her lips, to  
breath in her scent. It has been so long since I've felt her heart   
beat against mine. Her humor, her wit, all that she is, I long for.  
Am I too selfish?  
  
Should I not beg the gods to allow her to slumber and take up her burden?   
For she is far too tender for the ways of war. Her kind  
heart is burdened with guilt at the harm she must do. The harm  
we must all do, as is the soldier's lot in life. We are greatly disciplined,   
yet it is hard to be detached from what we are.  
Our hands are forever bloodied.  
  
Eternal warfare, eternal death. With only few spare seconds of  
life to make it at all bearable. A sigh, a mere breath and it  
is all gone again.   
Lost to each other for another one thousand years.  
  
I stand now in the sea begging it to be calm. To give me at  
least until she awakens before the waves pummel at me. The sea  
grows restless, the waters churn. For it knows that death and  
destruction lurk not far from its shores. It is immortal, it   
has seen the comings and goings of many ages.  
The sea knows all and shares very little.  
  
Forgive me my beloved for I must be your beacon in this night.  
The fearful light that draws you to destruction. My shame is  
my own weakness. I am not strong enough to fight the coming  
evil alone.   
I need you.  
  
Unless we are united, the red froth will ride on the waves.  
The sand once more covered with blood. The skies will darken.  
The wind shall be a sour haze poisoned with the smell of   
charred flesh and ash. The Earth will suffer the fate it has  
been so long spared. Humans shall die off as a race before they  
can achieve their highest level. We both know the horrors,  
we can not allow it to happen again. There is no claim to ignorance  
on our part. For we know too well what shall happen without our  
intervention. You and I must stand before the destructor and   
defend this last planet. Or the fate of our worlds shall repeat  
here. We must find our Messiah, we must defend, we must complete  
our mission. We must be soldiers once more.  
My darling, please come to me.  
  
  
~end~ 


End file.
